We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
