Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
