She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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