and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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