Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
