Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
