Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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