I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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