does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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