This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
