Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
