I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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