Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
