need another drink. this is the easiest way
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
