When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
