I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I had to cum in my sink.
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