Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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