did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
