i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I deserve this hangover.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
