So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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