Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
