i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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