Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
