at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
