The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
