Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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