I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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