so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
