Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
