The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
