Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
