I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
