I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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