Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
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