I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
