kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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