ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
