the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
vagina is talking i cant
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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