so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
