At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
