Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
