if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
