your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
