there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
