i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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