lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
