I'm going to jail i love you
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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