if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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