So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
