Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
