We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
FUCK WHALES
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
