I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
