so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
