they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
